Your thoughts drive you.

Waking up much later than the planned wake-up time makes me so pissed off at myself.

Is it only me or?

Do you feel the same?

Do ya?

If yes, *hypothetical high fives*

So few days back (by few, i mean 8, ngeh), I was so tired that I planned to rest on the sofa  for awhile and wake up at around 2-3am to continue my unfinished video shoot. I could still remember that I woke up once in the middle of my sleep, thinking that I still have time to sleep, so I got back to my dreamworld. When I woke up the second time, I felt like I just slept for an hour, but it scared me to s*** when I saw “7.00am” on my phone.

Within a few seconds, countless thoughts crowded my mind.

” Damn, What I’m going to do now? “

” I was supposed to finish my video shoot yesterday night.”

” I have dental appointment later at 10am. ”

” I needa meet up with my friend later in the afternoon, I don’t have time to finish this.”

” I’m supposed to have my sahur at 4-ish, but I missed it, how am I gonna get through the day without food and water?”

Before I forget to mention this, that day was the last day of the puasa (fasting) month for the Muslims and it was the day which I had my first one-day fasting experience. I cannot eat and drink anything at all. To make things worse, I had an early dinner the night before. I prayed so hard that my stomach will not growl when I was lying on the dental chair because I couldn’t move to find holes and hide my face. The funny thing was I heard stomach grumble and it’s not from me but my dentist. TEEHEE.

Moving back to the topic, I was so lost right at the moment. I knew myself very clearly, that I’m the kind of person who will get so pissed or frustrated with myself if my plans were altered or forced to change.

  • Extra class
  • Change of venue for the upcoming class
  • No more porridge, so have to eat other kind of food for lunch & etc.

Most of the times, I mentally prepared myself one day before or in the morning of the day itself for the schedule of the day (the food I’m going to eat, my leisure activity after classes and others). So, when things changed/got out of my control, I got irritated and uncomfortable. Of course, petty stuff doesn’t really irritate me significantly. I knew I would definitely feel grumpy and angry with myself and I was in the state at that moment. I started talking to myself to sort things out.

“Hey, I understand that your current progression is way behind from your plan. But, you know what, it’s okay, don’t be angry at yourself, it will only ruin the rest of your day and also slow down your progression even more. Never mind. From now on, try to finish one at a time and we will see what we can do after that.”

I started with my video shooting. It went pretty well and I got all the shots that I wanted. I managed to attend my dental appointment but I was 15 minutes late. Everything goes well after that except that I got so sweaty when I was moving all the stuff from my hostel into my house and I was late to meet my friend but we still managed to watch a movie before having dinner.

What I’m trying to point out is that you always have a choice, even if it’s your emotion. Don’t ever underestimate of your emotion. It affects your thought, your behavior and your actions. If I choose to continue feeling frustrated or angry at myself, the situation may have gone even worse. (I may not finish my video shoot, I may skip my dental appointment, I may even call off the meet-up).

This is just one of the examples from my daily life which I see the power of emotion and the power of thought. What do you see?

I was taking x-ray

By the way, I have recorded my one-day puasa/fasting experience. If you haven’t watched it, do check this out to see if I failed it or I nailed it.

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Till next time!


About Angeline Lee

Hi there. I'm the creator of all the content. Thank you for dropping by!
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