I don’t think he will read my blog anymore. Nevermind. I will write what i want.
Thanks my friend for making him make his final decision. LOL. if its not her, i dont think he will tell me anything even after the high school year. It turns out, the answer isn’t what i expected. Eventhough i ve prepared for the best and the worst, But i just cant hide myself from those shit feelings when i knew it. When i got the text, i cried. I just throw away my notes i was reading tat time, and straight away jump to my brother’s bed. Hugging pillow and just CRY.
Awkward moment occurs when im crying, my lil bro comes in the room to take things. I have to hide my face in my pillow acting im sleeping. I dont want to let my lil brother to know that im crying cause he will definitely tell my parents. And i dont wanna let my parents worry about me especially its about my personal stuff as i promise my younger brother. When my brother leaves, i stop crying , i scared later my mum will come in. Holding the phone while my tears cant stop welling up my eyes.
Feeling so helpless at that moment. I dont know who to talk to. What i can do is just staring at my phone. He cant let go of the things happened weeks ago. He just cant. So he decided to let everything go, and we can remain as good friends. Look, i just got Friendzoned! Of course i dont want it to end like this. never. But no matter how i begged or what i said trying to convince for another chance for us, he rejected. He seems determined. They said, once, guys made decisions, they wont change anymore. i guess its true eventually, i stopped asking for the last opportunity, because im worried that he will get annoyed by me. So i went to watch 国光帮帮忙instead to cheer myself up and stop crying. Dont want to show my swollen eyes to people tomorrow.
Ta shuo ta neng fang xia wo ye. Ni Ying gai hen kuai jiu neng fang xia wo le ba, ni dou neng ju jue de na me hen xin le, zheng ming ni zhen de na ding zhu yi le. Huo xu wo zhen de mei na ge ben shi rang ni xi huan wo xiang wo xi huan ni na me shen. Ni wen wo da suan zen me zuo. Ni shuo le na me duo hen hua, wu fei shi xiang yao wo fang xia ni, bu yao zai wei zhe xie shi tong ku fan nao le. Wo zhen de bu xiang fang, zhen de bu she de fang. Suo yi wo jue ding ji xu xi huan ni, zhi shi wo bu hui gei ni zhi dao, wo hui jia zhuang mei shi, jia zhuang xia ni le, ji xu gen ni jiang hua. Fan zhen wo you bu shi mei an lian guo ren. Huo xu mo mo de xi huan, bu yao bao ren he xi wang de xi huan bi jiao hao.
Wanna tell him that never to feel zi bei about himself. “gao pan bu qi” LOL.
wo cong lai mei xian qi guo ni. zhen de. Jiu shi bu jie yi ni de que dian cai hui xi huan ni.
Duhh, its 4 in the morning. And i haven sleep yet, tmr will be a tough school day, ugh.