What Happens When You Break Up On Good Terms

Originally posted on Thought Catalog:

It’s painful, it’s exhausting and it’s so incredibly difficult. Going through heartbreak can be absolutely miserable. You hate the person but you still love the person. And then you end up hating yourself for loving them, which eventually leads to you hating them even more for making you still love them. It’s draining, really.

But what happens when the breakup is quiet? What happens when there’s no big, dramatic event that ruins the relationship? What happens when you end things on good terms?

Sometimes there’s no hostility. In these kinds of breakups, no one fights. You don’t fight with each other or fight for each other. There’s no screaming, insulting, or drunken breakdowns in the middle of the night.

There are no angry texts, letters, or not-so-cryptic tweeting of song lyrics. This breakup occurs not always mutually but with dignity on both sides. No one loses respect for the other…

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Random. idk wat to put as title. LOL

Today, I finished my muet speaking test. Im not nervous at all and i dont know why, maybe it is because I have practised many times with my group. 

Unfortunately, the absence of my nervousness doesnt help me alot. I dont think I perform well enough in the test. duhhh. During the section A , I stop for quite some times. I feel like killing myself, thinking that im screwed. But i think im still okay in the group discussion. DUHHHH. Phew, finally its over! have to focus on other tests now. 

To those people who are having the speaking test :

As what i mention in my previous post, everyone has their own priorities. They get to choose what is the most important in their life. We cannot do anything but to increase your own value so that we can become person which are deserved to be others’ priorities. 

I dont know exactly how to increase one’s value, maybe by reading, changing your lifestyle, changing your communication skill, changing your behaviour or whatever. 

And people, stop saying that you dont give a shit with what others comment about you. You do care. Everyone will more or less get affected by the comments people give you. Its just a matter of we can accept it or not. 

Accept . Change what you should change. And lastly, 

Well here’s two quotes which may motivate you to have a great life. Cheers to people who are ready for it ! :)



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Tough days.

Recently, i mean within these one or two months, my days are tough. Physically and mentally.
I dont anticipate for school days anymore. The thing that i want to do the most when im in the school is to go home. Cause when im in my house, i dont need to face people besides my family.
Starting to feel alone when im in the crowd. And i hate this feeling.
In my class, i spend most of my time doing homework with my earphones on. I do socialise with my classmates.
Within months, a lot of things happened whether i want it or not.
When things dont go our way, we are forced to accept the way it become.
So i accepted. 
I ve already understood that once lost, it will never get back. Mistake done will never get forgiveness sometines.
I ve already get used to being neglected, being replaced. I dont expect. I dont blame. I wont get mad. Cause i know everyone has their own priorities over things.

Five months more.
And im a free man.
Tired of tears.
I hate that my feelings get influenced so easily.

Pray hard that everything goes smoothly for the rest of my school day.
And i sincerely hope and wish that those people that i care live a good life.

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He cut hﹰis hair. Why so short? Hahaahah. Looking from side, he looks funny. But from the front, he looks cute. Hehehe.

有人说, 是你的就是你的。 担心也没用。 如果他真的不属于你的, 就算你在怎么小心提防, 他还是会离你而去。

Today is the first day of orientation week. Same date as last year. This reminds me that i ve been in high school for one year. There are Only 243 juniors this year. I notice that more parents come to accompany their children. Cant parents let them be more independent? They are already 18 not 8 .duhhhh.
im the group advisor of group 14. My group has quite alot of malay guys. :/ i dont like. Ugh.

I helped my friend today!!!
Hahahaha. I have no idea why i can convince her sis so easily.
Erhem, dear friend, Study hard la. at least put some effort and then get good results. Show ur parents that u still can get  result wuth flying colours even if u re in a relationship. Show that ur relationship wont affect ur studies. Please. U gotta be clear what you should do. Now is just the start. If u dont want to work hard, i dont know how to help you anymore.
Problems solved. Dont be upset d! Smile yo. :)

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Trial exam is over. whee~~ Sincerely hope that muet writing, chem and math will get good results. OMITOFO!!   Yorrr. fking hate PA and i dont know what to do with biology. ._. walaooo. Two more weeks somemore real exam d. ohmygod.

Yesterday i hang out with stacy and chloe. Three of us have not hang out together for so long. Finally , we get to spend time together, just three of us. Argh, now only i remember we forget to take pic together. ish. Anyway, we planned to watch ironman 3 and then go setia alam pasar malam for dinner. But, we scared not enough time, so we just go night market only. It’s my first time going there. hahaha. nice experience, though. I saw alot of pretty girls , i met quite a few people that i know. including my foster. that one really shocked me. i didnt expect to see him again. 

Three of us keep eating. hahahha. especially that 炒粿条, very nice. yum. heheeh. ppl playing badminton, i keep eating. #面壁思过

跟姐妹们坦诚一切,诉苦一番,舒服多了。:) 我们之间的关系真的很复杂,不管怎样我还是很怀念新年那个星期,我今年最开心的一个星期。


Seriously, we cannot judge a book by its cover. What we see doesnt show what really happens. Look at them, they look happy, but then you will never know they are having problem until they tell you. He looks okay doesnt mean he is really okay inside. 


我们会那样吗?._. 在梦里呗。

你会不会讨厌我?会吧,kan facebook chat dou dong le. 

qi shi ru guo ni mei shuo na xie ni hai xi huan wo de hua, wo zao jiu ying gai fang xia le, yi qie ben lai hui mei shi de.

move on, move on. 

yi fang mian yi jing fang qi le, jiu suan ni duo me nu li de xiang zhe ta ye shi mei you yong. 



Dan, wo hai shi hui chang chang xiang dao ni. jiu suan wo men hen shao jian mian. 



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The first time.

Satrday night – Sunday morning
i have an amazing dﹰream that night. Really unbelievable, magical and wonderful.
I dreamt about we become a thing.
And you are the one who take the first move. We hold hands while walking in the garden.
Awww. How sweet is that.
I ve dreamt about you for numerous time. But, This is the first time i dream about me and you being together.
Hohoho. And when i wake up, i smile, i can feel that im really happy, and i cant even differentiate if its a dream or it actually happens in real life. Then, i go to bath and think for awhile, telling myself it is a dream.
Not going to get it in real life anymore, so having this awesome dream is more than enough. How nice to have this kind of dream every night. Hah.

I have spent a week to study chemistry. Duhh. Chemistry, you better be A. Real exam faster come. I need holidays to rest and rearrange my lifestyle.

跟他做朋友呗, 就像之前。
李嘉婧, 朋友只是朋友,不要越过界限。他只会把你当朋友。 别再哭了,哭了他也不会回来。哭肿了眼睛,在学校怎么见人? 他也没真正关心过你啊,你在留恋他的什么? 没有关心过你,代表他没喜欢你啊,从头到尾。

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Friend Zone.

I don’t think he will read my blog anymore. Nevermind. I will write what i want.

Thanks my friend for making him make his final decision. LOL. if its not her, i dont think he will tell me  anything even after the high school year. It turns out, the answer isn’t what i expected. Eventhough i ve prepared for the best and the worst, But i just cant hide myself from those shit feelings when i knew it. When i got the text, i cried. I just throw away my notes i was reading tat time, and straight away jump to my brother’s bed. Hugging pillow and just CRY.

Awkward moment occurs when im crying, my lil bro comes in the room to take things. I have to hide my face in my pillow acting im sleeping. I dont want to let my lil brother to know that im crying cause he will definitely tell my parents. And i dont wanna let my parents worry about me especially its about my personal stuff as i promise my younger brother. When my brother leaves, i stop crying , i scared later my mum will come in. Holding the phone while my tears cant stop welling up my eyes.

Feeling so helpless at that moment. I dont know who to talk to. What i can do is just staring at my phone. He cant let go of the things happened weeks ago. He just cant. So he decided to let everything go, and we can remain as good friends. Look, i just got Friendzoned! :/ Of course i dont want it to end like this. never. But no matter how i begged or what i said trying to convince for another chance for us, he rejected. He seems determined.  They said, once, guys made decisions, they wont change anymore. i guess its true :/ eventually, i stopped asking for the last opportunity, because im worried that he will get annoyed by me. So i went to watch 国光帮帮忙instead to cheer myself up and  stop crying. Dont want to show my swollen eyes to people tomorrow.

Ta shuo ta neng fang xia wo ye. Ni Ying gai hen kuai jiu neng fang xia  wo le ba, ni dou neng ju jue de na me hen xin le, zheng ming ni zhen de na ding zhu yi le. Huo xu wo zhen de mei na ge ben shi rang ni xi huan wo xiang wo xi huan ni na me shen.  :/ Ni wen wo da suan zen me zuo. Ni shuo le na me duo hen hua, wu fei shi xiang yao wo fang xia ni, bu yao zai wei zhe xie shi tong ku fan nao le. Wo zhen de bu xiang fang, zhen de bu she de fang. Suo yi wo jue ding ji xu xi huan ni, zhi shi wo bu hui gei ni zhi dao, wo hui jia zhuang mei shi, jia zhuang xia ni le, ji xu gen ni jiang hua. Fan zhen wo you bu shi mei an lian guo ren. Huo xu mo mo de xi huan, bu yao bao ren he xi wang de xi huan bi jiao hao.

Wanna tell him that never to feel zi bei about himself.  “gao pan bu qi” LOL.

wo cong lai mei xian qi guo ni. zhen de. Jiu shi bu jie yi ni de que dian cai hui xi huan ni.

one unlucky girl just got friend-zoned. *sob*

Duhh, its 4 in the morning. And i haven sleep yet, tmr will be a tough school day, ugh.



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